Stéphane
Lambion —

give me three oranges
and i’ll juggle for you

i have a love-hate relationship
to artist statements

i’m still hopeful that
someday i’ll finish my phd

ticket inspectors are up there
in my list of most hated people

“my heart is french
but my arse is international”

the coldest winter i’ve known
was in the south of france

my level of happiness
depends on my ability to cycle

why have a cardamom bun when
you can have a cinnamon one

my most listened song lasy year
was white flag by dido (…)

i was born in brussels
but i’ve never lived there

everything i own
fits in one bag

if you see a green jacket
that might be me

i miss the morning light
on the tuscan hills

i’ve lived in marseille
but have been swum there

i don’t mind mess at all
as long as everything is straight

nothing soothes me like
jahandar’s music

i’m probably on low charge
as we speak

i like it when slowly
it goes beyond 130bpm

still can’t decide if
french press is better than moka

i almost got married
then i came back to my senses

do you want
to grab coffee with me?

few things please me more
than finding the right word

why do i love colour so much
but still draw in black and white

will someone do something
to save the planet please

courgettes and aubergines
are the basis of my diet

the lowest temperature i’ve known
was -19°C

i was raised in a beautiful
city in transylvania you should go

i hereby promise never to use
chatgpt as my therapist

i’ve spent a few nights
in a legal 22 people houseshare

i’m pathologically indecisive
but i’m working on it

i’m so happy and scared
when i climb outdoors

one day in marseille there was
a fridge on the cycle lane

i like those few hours
that are neither night nor day

recently i got confirmation
that solitude isn’t for me

someone please cross out
halloween from the calendar

my biggest fear
is governmental bureaucracy

i miss the morning light
on the chapel across the street

i rate vertical movement
more than horizontal one

few places soothe me more
than small art galleries

i’m still looking for
the love of my life

my mood is incredibly
weather dependent

nothing gets on my nerves
as much as jigsaw puzzles

i was extracted from the womb
with the help of a plunger

my favourite drink
is gin tonic without tonic

i love you so much
for reading this

some days i prefer words
and others i prefer images

why do people have so many
plants in their flats

sometimes i wish
there were more hours in a day

there’s something so nice
about the texture of wood

“it feels like you’re constantly
waiting for something”

i don’t eat dead animals
nor alive for that matter

i have so many
dreams every night

in 1968 i threw foam cobblestones
on angry fake cops

i don’t quite get the point
of sparkling water

my favourite spice
is cumin

do you want
to play cards with me?

i sometimes have an after eight
before eight but i feel guilty

i know the exact weight
of everything i own

i still think about
chloé my kindergarten crush

i love the red bricks
of london’s houses

i often prefer books’ titles
to their content

i’m positively fascinated
by the diversity of flushing systems

“dear Stéphane Lambrion,
thank you so much for...”

why is drinking water
so boring and necessary

i still regret
never having a tamagotchi

i miss the feeling of being
the first one on the ice rink

i don’t quite get
the point of science-fiction

the mere idea of linkedin
gives me a panic attack

i met one of my best friends
in the middle of a forest

i used to take my blood pressure
meds with a double espresso

nothing brings me joy like
a thick woolen jumper when it’s cold

it takes me days to pick a colour
then i change my mind

my worst nightmare
is a crowded british beach

rather than logical connections
i prefer mystical juxtapositions

no i really can’t do
marmite, sorry

according to the attachment project,
i’m “anxious/preoccupied”

i don’t believe in god
except when i’m sick

living in the uk is turning
me into an awkward person

most of what i think is the
contrary of what i used to think

every summer we used to drive
all the way from paris to romania

i’d love to live
somewhere in greece

every year i decide
to get my driver’s licence

do you want
to come climbing with me?

sometimes i dream
that capitalism is dead

my favourite book is
nox by anne carson

i don’t eat dead animals
nor alive for that matter

i have a pink quartz ring
because it’s good for the heart

living in the uk made me
find christmas bearable

for fifteen years of my life
i’ve been told i was a taurus

i often wonder
how one is meant to forget

a passion fruit scoop
and a raspberry one please

i was very sad the day
charles aznavour died

nothing gives me as much pleasure
as a perfect geometrical shape

i tend to forget
to give back people’s keys

according to my pediatrician
i was a “perfect baby”

i both need and hate
what people call coherence